I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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