brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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