I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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