dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
just found out that she named her cat after me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize