when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
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Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
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it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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