soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
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We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
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Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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