Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize