Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize