it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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