so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
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Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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