Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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