when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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