either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize