She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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