so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
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she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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