We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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