my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
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opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
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I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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