You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize