What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize