No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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