I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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