he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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