I wanna bring you to show and tell
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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