Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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