dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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