I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize