I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
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Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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