Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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