i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So squirting runs in the family.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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