So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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