my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize