I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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