Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
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my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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