I love black thongs
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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