Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
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I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
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Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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