I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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