If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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