You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize