It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
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We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Im part way to drunk.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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