It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
