you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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