I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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