please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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