Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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