Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize