Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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