Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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