I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
porn star boner night. come get it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
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She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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