God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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