We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
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