i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize